Feel This (Can You Feel This)
by ihearttvsnark
Summary: Tumblr prompt: Hayley shuts down her humanity and Elijah helps her get it back.


When it finally happens, he blames himself.

Elijah recalls the day he brought her home after making the ill-fated deal with the witches. He'd looked her in the eye and promised to always protect her. He gave his word and he'd failed her time and time again. He couldn't protect her from the witches. He couldn't protect her from death. He couldn't protect her from the loss of her baby.

He's failed her more times than he cares to remember, but he _needs_ to remember – he needs to memorize the details of each and every one of those failed moments when he let her down because they led to this one. Hayley has given up and turned her back on everything good inside of her. She's flipped her humanity switch off despite his pleas to hold on and have faith in him and in his love for her.

The last remaining sliver of light slips from her eyes and he knows she's done it without her saying a word. It's like losing her all over again, but somehow this guts him deeper. A fist clenches around his heart and squeezes it so tight that he expects blood to start pouring from his chest as he watches her walk away from him. He wants to believe that she's not lost forever, but he's already failed her so many times that he's not sure he can blame her if she doesn't return.

Hayley does return to the compound, but she's not interested in conversation or his attempts to try and remind her why she should keep fighting. She's interested in feeding and making those who wronged her suffer and bleed. She targets the remaining witches, but vampires, werewolves and humans are all fair game in her book, especially those who she suspects played a part in the war that cost her everything.

Elijah turns to Niklaus for help, he falls to his knees and begs his brother to assist him in getting Hayley back, but Niklaus is drowning in his own grief, driving himself mad with his plots and calls for revenge. Elijah does what he can to keep Hayley safe from a distance – he knows if he gets too close she will retaliate – he learned that the hard way when he stopped her from tearing Jackson's heart from his chest. She let her former friend live, but sank her fangs into Elijah's neck, leaving him with terrifying hallucinations until Jackson was able to get Klaus to his side.

He watches as she tortures Francesca, but Elijah does not attempt to interfere because this one is personal to all of them. Reinforcements stop Hayley from killing her, but he knows she will try again. He follows her back to the compound and sees a drunken tourist accidentally stumble into Hayley. She tears the man's heart out without a second glance and ignores the screams that follow in her wake. Elijah waits until she disappears into her room before he takes off, knowing there is only one card he has left to play and if this fails…he cannot let his mind consider the possibility.

It takes longer than he'd expected and when he returns to the compound the next day, Hayley is gone. Elijah searches her usual haunts, but the only sign he finds of her is the trail of bodies she tore through to feed her hunger. He doubles back through the city, but she's either lying low or something has happened to her and his heart clenches tightly once more at the thought that he's managed to fail her yet again.

Elijah spends the evening hours pacing the courtyard, listening for any sign that Hayley is on her way home and he finally gets one around two a.m. when he hears the sound of a struggle followed by a scream piercing through the night. He speeds into the shadows and a few moments later, Hayley appears in the courtyard, her eyes vacant and the blood of her kill still dripping from her lips. He waits for her to cross the threshold into the house and then he's behind her in an instant and he snaps her neck before she can turn around to face him. "I am truly sorry," he whispers.

When Hayley wakes up, she's chained to the wall and Elijah stands across the small room from her, his eyes filled with anguish as she snarls at him, her eyes devoid of any emotion, not even a hint of annoyance for her sudden captivity. She tugs on her chains and asks him to come closer and fight her like a man, but Elijah holds his ground, dropping down to his knee in front of her.

"I am truly sorry that I have failed you," he begins and she continues to struggle with the chains, uninterested in hearing what he has to say. "I asked you before to believe in the love I have for you and I know that wasn't enough."

Hayley sighs. "I was never the person you thought I was. Being alone works better for me. It's not personal." She shrugs and tugs on the chains again. "You need to find someone else to save."

Elijah shakes his head, keeping his gaze trained on hers. "I do not believe that. You came to New Orleans because you wanted to find your family and then you made it your mission to protect them. You're a fighter and you need to keep fighting. Not for me or for Niklaus or even for yourself. You need to fight for _Hope_."

Hayley remains silent and he watches her eyes carefully, searching for the tiniest indication that the baby's name has sparked something inside of her. Hayley's eyes remain blank, but Elijah will not fail her again. He reaches into the inner pocket of his jacket and moves closer to Hayley, holding out the photograph for her to see. "Hope needs you to fight for her."

He watches as Hayley's eyes dart to the photo and she stares at it for a long moment, but her eyes do not change. Elijah keeps his hand steady, bringing the photo closer to Hayley's face so it's the only thing in her field of vision. "Look at your daughter, Hayley. Look at her and tell me that you want to keep feeling nothing. Look at her and tell me that giving up was the right course to take."

She closes her eyes and he hears the hitch in her breathing. The fist squeezing his heart loosens for the first time since he watched Hayley walk away and gives him the strength to continue. "She needs her mother. Rebekah tells her about you every day. She tells her about the strong, brave woman, who fought so hard to keep her safe that she cheated death itself. Hope needs her mother." _I need you too_, Elijah silently adds.

Hayley opens her eyes and stares at the photo for a long moment and then she closes them once more. Elijah feels his own hope diminishing, but then she opens her eyes again and this time, he sees the tears that she's trying to blink away. He shifts closer to her, reaching out to cup her cheek. "Let it out," he whispers. A choked sob tears from her throat and she mutters Hope's name as she struggles with the chains, her fingers reaching for the picture.

Elijah snaps the chain from the wall and Hayley takes the picture from his hand, the tears falling harder now as she stares at the picture of her daughter, who is sending a toothless smile at the camera, her eyes shining with happiness. "I miss her so much," Hayley whispers and Elijah gathers her in his arms, but he doesn't try to soothe her. He knows she needs to feel something to survive this – even if it is only the pain brought on by an unbearable longing for everything she's lost.


End file.
